Six years today

This post is an old entry in my previous blog. If Mon and I have not married yet, today would've been our sixth year as boyfriend-girlfriend.

Let it be known that Mon and I are engaged... again!

I first told you about our engagement when I "proposed" to Mon last year. Wedding preps have commenced since then but nothing was final until the end of December when we actually decided to move our wedding date up from May 2013 to December 2012... just because we wanted to be together sooner.

May 29, 2012 --- our second year anniversary. I wasn't expecting anything special to happen that day because although I knew that he will still give me a ring, I didn't expect it to happen soon.. and very publicly, if I may add.

I was hoping to receive flowers but what I got was much much more. It was sweet, really. He gave me lots (twelve in total!) of sweet, thoughtful gifts that reminded me of our early days as a couple. Mon made my officemates deliver his gifts at different times throughout the day.

At around 5:40, I saw a text from Mon saying that he was going to be late so I took my time fixing my stuff. When I turned around, there he was on his knees holding a little red box.

I was beyond surprised! The feeling was overwhelming.

It's a YES! No doubt about it!

I am more than willing to spend the rest of my life with you.
I LOVE YOU, HONEY <3

His name is Logan Alexander

Ok, so as you can infer from the title, the story I am about to tell you today is why we named Lex his name. 

I've been trying to write this blog entry for the longest time but I can't seem to find the right words to express how we really came up with it for fear that it might come across as "mababaw". Because whenever people would ask us why we named him Logan, we would say that he was named after the X-Men character Wolverine, which is actually in part, true. 

IN NEED OF SOMETHING DIFFERENT

My husband and I have a very common surname, not at all unique like my maiden surname. So at the onset we were in search for a first name that is uncommon here in the Philippines. Because do you know how many hits my husband's name get in the NBI?

A NAME I'VE ALWAYS LIKED

The first time I heard the name Logan was in the Babysitter's Club movie. Logan Bruno was Mary Ann Spier's boyfriend. Omg, do you know that? 90s kids will know! Even then the name already struck me as cool and unique.

Years later, I met the name again in the person of Wolverine. Upon hearing it, it's like a long untapped desire for the name came through me. "One day, I'm going to name my child Logan.", I decided. And so since then, Logan has been one of my top-of-mind choice for a boy's name. It took 14 years for that thought to come into fruition.

A NAME IS A GIFT

Of course they say that when you give a baby a name, give them a name that they can be proud of. A name is actually the first gift a parent gives his child. It can signify what the parent may wish for him, what he aspires for his child to become. 

Many babies are named after Biblical characters and historical icons because their parents hope that their children will grow up imbibing the traits of their namesakes. The operative word there is hope, which means that this practice is largely a myth. Just because I named my son Barack, doesn't mean he'll grow up to be the president of the United States, right? Right. But I'm not saying that it's a bad thing ha. In fact, it is actually what gives meaning to a name.

Believe it or not, names are quite powerful. Good thing is (or is it a bad thing?), it is entirely up to you.

ALEXANDER

Do you have name biases? I do. I have different perceptions on names that is perhaps based on people I know or just my general perception of how the name sounds like. Like when I hear the name Emily, my mind would visualize a cute little girl. Think: Binx's dead sister in Hocus Pocus and/or Princess Sarah's doll. Or Patricia, a dainty lady. I don't really know of any dainty Patricias. It's just how I perceive it in my head. Or Raymond, an erudite. Coincidentally, that last one proved to be correct with my husband. 

I've always had a positive perception with the name "Alexander". For some reason, I always think Alexanders are strong and responsible and independent. People surmise that it's because of Alexander The Great. But no. I don't even know the guy! I mean, I've heard of him and he's obviously great because you can't just attach "The Great" to a name if that person is not great right?, but I don't really know who he was or what he did. Is he even good? Is he even really great?

Nonetheless, I picked the name Alexander because of that perception. Who knows? It might actually be true just like how my perception of his father's name turned out to be true. Crossing my fingers on that!

AND THEN THERE'S "LEX"

Coming up with a nickname was tricky. I had different nicknames in my head: Logan, Alex.. but every single one of 'em names did not get the husband's approval. "Lex", he said, is what we will call him. Now I don't really know of anyone called Lex save for Superman's enemy, Lex Luthor, so I was of course hesitant at first. The fact that the husband actually decided on his son's nickname after THAT Lex made me cringe a bit more. But he made me see the beauty of that name. Lex Luthor may be a villain, but he is the most intelligent man in the DC universe. Imagine, he can fight against Superman using only his intellect (and money of course!) and be a worthy rival. I mean, if there is a real Super Man, that would be Lex Luthor! Because technically, Superman is not from this world. He came from a different world and he's just an ordinary man in Krypton while Lex is an extraordinary man on Earth.

WHAT MAKES IT SPECIAL

I think every name we give our children is special for the very reason that picked it out of millions of names in existence. For us, it is special because Logan, Alexander, and Lex are names we really like. It's not something we picked out of impulse.

Also, we see that he really is growing up to be a strong and independent boy. Just like how I perceived an Alexander would be. Imagine that? But clearly, one day, he will grow up to be his own person. And that's just the way I would want it to be. At the end of the day, I wouldn't want him to be like any one else but himself. 

Of quality time and manga

K E E P I N G  T H E  L O V E  A L I V E

Mon and I make it a point to have boyfriend-girlfriend time every weekend. I say "boyfriend-girlfriend" time kasi it's more kilig that way, diba? "Husband-wife" time sounds boring. Haha.

Even from when we were still dating, we never were the maluho kind of couple. In fact, our dates sometimes took place at the nearby sari-sari store. Our food? Cheese Rings and Royal Tru-Orange sa plastic. I stress "sa plastic" because softdrinks somehow tastes different pag nasa plastic, diba? Or maybe that's just me feeling nostalgic. Anyway the point is, we enjoy each other's company a lot and so we never felt like we have to go to an expensive place just to have boyfriend-girlfriend time.

But we do go to expensive places once in a while. It's part of his continuing courtship, if you may. Kasi aminin, nakakahaba ng hair kapag dine-date ka ng boyfriend mo sa mahal diba? Nakaka-flatter na ginagastusan ka pa rin paminsan minsan. ;)

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

E V E R Y T H I N G  I  K N O W  ,  I  L E A R N E D  F R O M  M A N G A

Ok, that's an exaggeration since ngayon lang naman ako nagbasa ng manga. Haha! Pero totoo na madami ka talagang mapupulot sa pagbabasa nun. 

I just actually finished reading one. My first manga! Ang saya saya makatapos ng 102 chapters in just a few days. #feelingaccomplished #mangarock

I wonder how the Japanese think of such witty stories? Nakakatuwa at nakaka-inspire kasi talaga. I think everyone should read at least one manga in their life. One can really learn a lot from it. Like, the manga I just read made me think that in life, there is no such thing as too late to do what you want to do or too late to be anything you want to be. Even if you consider yourself mediocre, with hard work, you can still achieve anything you want. Just don't give up and never surrender!

I look forward to the day when I will be able to share with Lex the life lessons that I have learned from manga and anime. Pero dadating din kami dun. For now, I'll let him enjoy his innocence in his picture perfect world where everything is rainbows and butterflies and cotton candy and milk. ;)

Being the best

I slept very late some nights ago. As it often is these days, my mind is preoccupied with the idea of success and failure (i.e. what it means to be either one of it). But something about what I had read earlier that night on my Facebook feed led me to realize one thing and that is people often think about success and failure but easily overlooks what's in between: mediocrity. But more on that later.

The next night, my husband imposed one new house rule: that we stop using our gadgets from 11PM-6AM everyday. He stressed the importance of having enough time to sleep but I knew he had in mind the fact that I was so weak the next day, I had to depend on a caramel macchiato to keep myself awake enough to attend a playdate.

At face value, that rule is very easy to follow. Drop whatever I was doing (which is really just checking on my social media accounts), sleep, and continue on the next day. But you and I know that it's not that simple. And as I reflected on my reluctance, I realized that the reason I was so hesitant to follow the rule was because my heart was not in it.

Then I remembered what I heard in church last Sunday about discipleship. The pastor said that the concept of following Jesus is really very simple. What makes it hard is because it is not easy to do. How many of you know that people, at the sight of any inconvenience, go and run for the hills faster than one can say RUN?

Applying that to my situation, the real deal is that I didn't want to give up my unligadget time at night.

And then I was reminded that when I married my husband, I vowed to submit to him all of me. I married him because I decided that he is the perfect man to lead me and my children in this life. I told myself that I will willfully and happily submit to his leadership. I may be inconvenienced by his rules, but I will follow him. That vow stands strong then, now, and forever.

Just as God is our Father, Ruler, and Lord of our lives, we should submit to His perfect will without any hesitations. We may not understand the purpose of all His rules, but we can be assured that it will only do us good if we follow it wholeheartedly until the very end, with no delays and no distractions.

He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. 

- Jim Elliot

Translation: A person is not a fool to give up all the reckless ways of the world to gain eternal life by being good and following God.

If you're wondering what happened next, I did agree with my husband's imposition proposition to limit our gadget use. Not only because I have to (for the reasons I stated above), but also (and more of) because I decided to put my heart in order and set my priorities straight.

In the last few weeks, along with my thoughts on success and failure, I've also been concerned about how I do things and how for the longest time I feel like I'm living a life of mediocrity. And I decided that I am so tired of that. I am tired of being just in between. So from now on I'm going to be the best. I'm going to be a success.

But what does it take to be a success?

Being a success, in my opinion, means doing your very best, and not being successful as how the world perceives success, in each and every aspect of your life, whether it be at work, your finances, your relationship with God, your health, your relationships with other people.

So whether it's honoring one's husband's rules or deciding to really follow Jesus in your life or even the simplest thing like finishing a long overdue blog entry, let's be a success. Let's be the best that we can be in each role that we play. Let's be a success is each area of our lives. It's time to stop mediocrity and make the most out of this one life we're given.

Disclaimer: While I may be mediocre in some areas, I am at least proud to say that I've never been a mediocre wife or a mediocre mom. I've always given my family the best of what I can give; time, attention, love, and even material things. My husband says I am the best on where it matters most. And because he thinks that, I would like to think that I didn't do so bad.

Para mi la miel (To my honey)

I had the perfect wedding. The sky was blue, it didn't rain. It was a cool and breezy December day.

I had the perfect wedding. I married in a beautiful church, the church I had pondered on marrying in the first time I set foot in it years ago, before I even met you. It was decorated with flowers as white and fresh as the morning dew.

I had the perfect wedding. I held my wedding party in a place overlooking a volcano surrounded by a tranquil lake, in the classiest and most elegant hotel in the city.

I had the perfect wedding. My gown perfectly hugs my body, and I felt like how every bride should feel on her wedding day, like a queen dressed for coronation.

I had the perfect wedding. My makeup brought out my natural beauty. Not too thick, not too light. Just enough to bring out the radiance I beam from within.

I had the perfect wedding. My family was complete that day. They ain't many but they're all I ever need.

I had the perfect wedding. The pictures turned out great, even better than I had expected. The wedding video is the best I've seen because it is my story, my day, my wedding that's in it.

I had the perfect wedding but none of those are the reason why. I can get married in a beautiful church, hold the wedding party in an enchanted place, wear the most exquisite gown, have the most amazing pictures but without you... without you it's never going to be perfect.

I had the perfect wedding-- because I married you.

En el hombre que hace cada momento vale la pena vivr... Feliz dia de san valentin, mi amor.
(To the man who makes every moment worth living... Happy valentine's day, my love.)

Tu siempre valentin (Your forever valentine),
Jen

Proto credit: All photos in this post were taken by Jaja Lifestyle Photography

No place I'd rather be

My baby boy stirred beside me, rousing me from my slumber. It was midnight. And although I've actually been sleeping for only a couple of hours, it certainly feels like my body has regained much strength, as if I've already slept for 8 hours rather than 2. I felt my bladder screaming release and got quite annoyed because going to the bathroom at this hour only means two things. I'm going to fully awaken my sleeping brain and spend the rest of the night awake, or I can crawl my way to the bathroom and convince my semi-awake brain into thinking that I am still asleep and to not let go of what little sleep is left. Unfortunately (or fortunately!), it was the former.

I succumbed to my desire to check my social media accounts in the middle of the night and after about half an hour into it, I gently rolled over to my husband's side and whispered that I can't sleep. Unfortunately for me, the husband has not an ounce of strength to spare to keep me company. He dozed off before I even finished my sentence.

And so there I lay in my state of wakefulness, staring into what just earlier in the night were fully charged glow-in-the-dark stars in our bedroom ceiling and decided to write down my one and only thought this peaceful night.

The reality of the moment is this, I am squished in between my sleeping husband and baby. And as I feel the warmth of their bodies on either side of me, I think, there is no place I would rather be than here. I may be the only one awake at this time but I don't feel alone at all. My heart is full.

I smile as I offer up a silent prayer to the Lord, thanking Him for His goodness and grace. And for the gift of here and now.

As I stare at my son in the darkness, I can see the outlines of his face, the gentle waves of his hair, the slight pout of his lips, and I think, "Hey, little guy, I look just like you!" I smell his hands, catching a whiff of milk that had dried up from his most recent feeding. I memorize his scent. I stay this way for a while, staring, drinking him in, until finally a bout of sleepiness envelopes me and I sleep, deeply and blissfully into the night.

My anniversary surprise!

Ok, so before I blog about the holidays, let me just publish this entry that has long been residing in my drafts folder. This is the continuation of my anniversary entry last year.

Just a recap, Mon and I celebrated our second year anniversary in Tagaytay. On the night of December 6th, around dinnertime, I asked Mon if he would still like to go out to eat or if he would like to have food brought up to our room. He said he'd rather go down para hindi naman sayang yung "costume" niya since he brought some semi-formal clothes to wear for dinner.

When I think about it, it was already so obvious (that something is going to happen) but at that point, I still didn't think anything of it. I used to be so suspicious whenever there is an upcoming occasion. But not this time. You see, I should have gotten a hint when he insisted to pack his semi-formal wear. I mean, it's totally out of his character to do that! And I should also have gotten a hint when he doesn't want to eat snacks. Again, totally out of his character!... and I say that meaning no offense. Hahaha.

And lastly, I should have gotten a hint when the waiter was ushering us to a secluded part of the cafe with a knowing smile. But I had no idea until I saw this.

Lovely, isn't it?

So here's when I stop telling you the story and let the pictures do the talking.

Our dinner was supposed to be outdoors. But then Mon decided to move it indoors because we had Lex with us. Chilly Tagaytay (night) weather and a baby don't mix well. We'd hate for Lex to spend his first Christmas with a cold.

The Menu

Taal Vista served us a complimentary cake to celebrate our anniversary! Thanks, Taal Vista!

The singing trio (one is not in the picture) serenading us as we eat.

We took turns feeding Lex dinner. Oh yes, this is how anniversary dinners are with a baby.

After an hour of good food and an even better conversation, we capped the night off with hot tea.

Thank you, Honey for all these experiences. May we have millions more in the years to come! I am really, truly enjoying doing life with you that I can hardly believe that it's already been two years since we got married. Two years na pero parang nasa honeymoon stage pa rin tayo! ;) I wish this "honeymoon stage" won't ever end! Even if we're old and gray na, I wish we'd still be like this, orchestrating surprises for each other (and in the future, kakunchaba na natin ang mga anak natin), holding hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling, tickling na parang two days pa lang tayo! I love you so much, Raymond M. Santos. It is a pleasure being your wife and partner for life!


Love,
Jen

Chronicles of the Travelling Tot - Part 1: Tagaytay

The Big Bang Couple just turned two! Yey!

I mentioned somewhere in my first anniversary post that our travel plans were put on hold because I was pregnant with Lex. And then on a much recent post, I said that we want to start travelling again since Lex is almost a year old. I got a lot of recommendations in that latter post to travel to a nearby place first and try and see how it will turn out and if we could possibly travel to a far off place next time. We decided to test the waters on our second year anniversary, to a place so very dear to our hearts, Tagaytay.

Trivia: Mon and I were married in Tagaytay in December of 2012 and held our wedding party in one of the most iconic and historic places there: Taal Vista Hotel.

We got a Premier Room at the Lake Wing for our overnight stay and it looks like this.

I wasn't able to take a lot of pictures because my 11-month old decided to claim the whole place as his before I could even bring out my camera.

It was a day of rest and relaxation. Well, as much rest and relaxation as we can squeeze in in between caring for a baby of course, which is not a lot, I tell you. Haha.

He doesn't want to sleep! He kept on rolling around, crawling around, banging his head around (he actually banged his head twice in this trip, not including the time he banged his head on my shoulder, at which time I think I was more hurt than he is.) Sobrang likot!

By the time we got outside to enjoy the cool Tagaytay air, he decided to do his bit of resting. Hay, babies! So this is when Mon and I got to talk and bond a little. Until we got cold and went inside for coffee... and in no time, the little one was roused from his slumber.

Lex, at 11 months, likes to walk and walk and walk! From the moment he wakes up to the time we were eating breakfast, he always signals to us that he wants to walk.

Some daddy and baby playtime while the mommy is preparing and packing things.

With everything taken into account, I think our family's first travel experience is a success. Looking forward to hundreds more of this.

And now we're two!

Two Years. MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER!

Some days I wake up and I still can't believe that I am married to this man. A great husband, an amazing father, a patient helpmate, my very best friend in the world. God must really love me so much He allowed our paths to cross, but not only because of the reasons I've mentioned above, but because I continue to walk in the faith I have today. And I am led to a relationship that is even greater than what I can imagine. So this marriage, really, is all for His glory. 

On failure and getting back up

Browsing through my timeline on a social media site today, I saw a video that piqued my interest. Now before I continue on with my story, you should know that I seldom watch videos shared in my timeline. The only ones I watch are those which I am tagged in, and most often are related to a TV series I am gaga about. But for some reason, my finger found its way to the play button and I'm so thankful it did because what I took from the video is nothing short of inspiring.

You might never fail on the scale I did but failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something. unless you lived so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all. In which case, you failed by default. 

- J.K. Rowling

Each one of us have experienced failure. While some of it may be small, in which case, only a small amount of "dusting" is needed, other failures may be on a larger scale, those that can be potentially life-changing.

I am not a stranger to failure myself. Growing up, I've had more than my fair share of failures too. So much that my fingers are not enough to count 'em all! What are your failures? One of mine is having to take the board exams thrice. And if you're wondering if I passed the third time, yes, I did. :)

That failure haunted me for years! There were times when I even dreamt that I had to take the exams again even if I had already passed. Talk about trauma!

I was talking to Mon about it recently, that the board exams season of my life is one of the most traumatic, if not the most traumatic thing that ever happened in my life and in our conversation, we started to process my fear and the trauma of the incident. In the end I realized that it is not the exam itself that had caused the paralyzing fear but how I and the people closest to me had reacted to it. You see, when I failed the first two tests, I considered myself a failure. What was even more depressing is that the people around me also did. And that fact has left me feeling all the more ashamed of myself. Sure, I got sympathy here and there but I know deep down that I am expected to prove something.

It's a good thing I knew someone who loves me unconditionally. Who welcomes me in his arms without the need for me to prove anything and that is the Lord. With Him as my foundation and my father's money (haha. I was so poor that I can't even afford to send myself to review school that time), I bravely took the test for the third time and emerged victorious.

But I was telling Mon that for the longest time after I had passed the exams,  my mindset was: had the people around me reacted differently, the effect on me wouldn't have been so bad. He countered that by telling me to stop using other people as an excuse for the crap I have in my life. It's time to take charge and be responsible for my own actions and choices. Besides, what he saw when I had told him about the whole incident is not really my failure to pass but how I was able to recover, without other people rallying me for support no less. He was also able to point out that that incident had paved the way for me to know myself better, what I am capable of, and how I handle my emotions despite the pressure coming from those people around me.

Our conversation ended with me looking at the incident in a different light. I do not see myself anymore as a glaring failure of a person. Instead, I see a victorious individual who, in her most dejected moment, made the right decision to trust in the Lord, dust her knees, and give it all she has to punch life right back. "Without the bitter, the sweet ain't as sweet." -- now that is a quote that has never been more apt.

photo source

That verse is my greatest take away from the whole conversation. With Jesus, I can do anything I set my mind to. And guess what? So can you!

P.S.: This isn't anymore related to the topic but can I just say, girls, marry someone who can change the way you think about yourself, who can turn even the most depressing thing about you to your favor. And I tell you, you will not regret it. ;)

Happy 21 Months, Darling!

Happy 21 Months to us, my love! Married life, as we now know more clearly, is not an easy thing to maintain. It takes hard work and patience and understanding to be able to withstand hardships and conflicts. Thanks for loving me enough to make this journey with me, and for doing your best to make it a happy journey for us both. Thanks for being supportive with my decisions and for making OUR family your priority always. And though we still have a lot of areas in our lives to improve, it is a joy for me to know that our journey is always progressing, never stagnant, because of our willingness to create the best life we can make this life to be. I love you and I thank God for you. Always.

I'm baaack!

Miss ko nang magblog!

Believe me when I tell you that I have been thinking about blogging many times during the last few months but I just didn't have the time motivation to pick up my computer and actually do it. 

Plus! Mon has been using my Mac for his programming needs so I'm stuck with his Asus which I absolutely dislike using. Ok, that's a lame reason, I know, I know!

Not to mention, there is no space in the house that is conducive enough for blogging. Erm...

In conclusion, I have no real excuse for not blogging. Hehe. I'm just tired and lazy and I lack sleep. I'm also fairly new to this whole motherhood business and I'm still at that stage where I'm struggling to juggle everything on my plate. I just had to take time off to find my groove back.

Me logging in to my blogger account is actually a big step. Congratulations to me! I deserve a pat on the back. Mwaha.

Updates!

Ze bebe is three months old today. Yey! Yes, it's been three months since Lex was born and in those three short months, so much growing up has happened in our little family! Literally and figuratively. Basta all I can say is that (responsible) parenthood is not something that a couple can just trudge into and expect that it's all going to be a walk in the park. No. It is difficult as it is glorious.

The first three months was extremely difficult. I had suffered from postpartum depression and as I have only begun exploring the fascinating (and exhausting) world of motherhood, I also had to learn and unlearn so many different things. Being a mother is like being in a whole new universe. And one will not understand nor appreciate that statement until one becomes a mother herself. Kasi it's not just taking care of the child e. It's the child plus everything that goes with it: managing the in-laws, managing the yaya, managing time for yourself and the expectations of the husband, managing work (if you work full time), managing the finances, managing social responsibilities.. so many things diba!? And a mother does all that while trying her damn hardest to function with zero sleep. 

I admit that I couldn't have done so well during Lex's first months without my very supportive and helpful husband. More than any other time in my life, it was in those months that I realized na I really chose my husband well. I am very lucky to have him by my side as we raise our son in this world.

That's it muna for now! Ang dami pang naka-line up na topics to blog about. Stay tuned!

Labor & delivery: how it all happened

So I have finally given birth to our darling baby boy Alexander.

Labor

It was dawn of January 9, around 2:37, when I felt it. I was already on leave from work since Monday and though I am already feeling very mild contractions then, it was nothing like I've felt that fateful morning. I monitored the contractions for an hour and established that it was 10-15 minutes apart.

Hon, wake up!

I told Mon about my contractions and we monitored it again for another hour. By then it was already coming faster and more painful. 6-8 minutes apart. Ok, time to go to the hospital! This is it! 

By the time we got to the hospital at around 5:00, I was told that I was 4cms dilated already. That's when they decided to transfer me from the maternity unit to the labor room.

Mon was not with me during labor. In St. Luke's, there are two rooms where women can stay in during labor: the Labor Room and the High-Risk Pregnancy Unit (HRPU). They gave us a choice if we wanted to be together during labor, but the price kind of dictated it. Hahaha! You see, if I opted to stay at the HRPU, we would have shelled out around 4k more than if I choose to stay at the Labor Room. My husband was willing to stay with me at the HRPU and we can afford it too, but I just don't find it practical. So it was, "Hey, see you later, Hon! I love you!".

How my contractions felt like 

I've read that contractions and labor feel different from woman to woman. Mine felt like menstrual cramps, you know that squeezing feeling when you have your period? Only it was loads more painful! Shiz, nakakaiyak siya. It's like having dysmenorrhea x 10! You know what got me through the whole ordeal? Praying! Trust me, it works!

Funny story. During labor, a nurse approached me and asked questions about my medical history. I kept asking her to wait while my contractions subsided. As in, "Nurse, wait lang ha, masakit eh, hindi ako makasagot." Then as the contraction reaches its peak, I would tightly clutch the side bars of the hospital bed, crunch my face, grunt "Oooouuuccchhhh.", and breathe "Hoooo... hoooo...". Once the contraction was over, "Ok Nurse, game na." 

Delivery

After about an hour of active labor, they gave me a sedative, which is why I felt so groggy the rest of the time. I was awake or I think I was awake, but I felt so high. Parang on drugs lang. The next thing I remember, I'm at the delivery room and there are hordes of people in front of me counting "1, 2, 3, push!". That's when I realized that I was about to deliver the baby! As the final contractions went through, I felt a sudden whoosh and it felt like I peed in front of everyone! As it turned out, it was my water breaking. Another contraction, everyone counting "1, 2, 3, push!" in unison, and bam! The baby's out. 

I couldn't believe it! It's done and I really did it! But it honestly felt like I didn't know what was happening the whole time. I had to ask Mon, who was beside me, if I had given birth normally. Hahaha ang weird ko. What was even weirder is that I remember asking him afterwards, "Hon, when did you get here?".

Everything happened so fast. I didn't even remember if I was given an epidural. But I must have been given one, since I didn't feel a thing when they were giving me stitches down there. 

The epic moment

The very first time I saw Lex was when he was latched on to me in the delivery room. But no, the feeling wasn't epic. I had none of that "Hollywood-style wave of emotion when you meet the baby for the first time". Instead what I felt was relief. Relief that it was finally done. He's out. He's really here. Like whoa, he's really here? Is this really happening?

Our epic moment didn't come until a few days after we got home. I was breastfeeding him one night and we were alone in our room, the lights dimmed so he could go straight to sleep. As he was happily suckling at my breast, I gently touched his hand and his tiny little fingers curled into mine. I tried prying my finger off but I just can't. He has a tight grip, my little boy. And I imagine him telling me right then, "Hi, Mama! I am very happy to meet you at last." to which I replied, "Hello, Alexander! I am very happy to meet you too!" I know it sounds weird but I really think that Lex and I have an unspoken bond. At that point, my heart swelled with so much love I didn't even thought I was capable of. My heart is peaceful, content, happy, and grateful for this wonderful gift from God. And that, my friends, is when I finally felt that I am a mother.

Highlights of my Christmas vacation

1. Good food, good company, and quality conversations among family members, and

12-28-13
Pardon the blurry photo. No one brought a decent camera. Hehe.

2. Celebrating the occasion with the loves of my life, Mon and Lex.

I usually refrain from having my picture taken nowadays because I already look so swollen.
But I am so, so happy that night, I just can't not take a picture!

I honestly felt so down in the dumps these past few weeks. But being with my family made me feel so recharged and so ready to face the world again... and so ready to face motherhood! 

It's true when they say that you never know what you got 'til it's gone. Good for me, whatever I got is not really gone, thank God! But spending Christmas away from home for the very first time in all my (almost) 30 years of existence made me appreciate my family and our celebrations more. Hindi bale, babawi talaga ako next year. Promise! :)

The Big Bang Couple turns 1!

One Year. WOW.

It seems like only yesterday when I giddily walked down the aisle towards my prince charming. Now we are married for one whole year! Even at this point, I really still can't believe a year has passed since the day that picture above was taken. Time goes by so fast, I tell ya. So fast.

Let me tell you about our anniversary weekend.

Has it really been 11 months? Time flies.

I'm not in the best mood to create a lovely message from scratch, so I am just going to lift something from a book I just recently read (tweaking the pronouns slightly), since it captures what I feel perfectly.

"You and I are the same. I mean, yes we're different, just like everyone else. But deep down, we're the same. I wish I could be figurative about this, but I can't. We're literally the same person. We want the same things. We laugh at the same jokes. We understand each other without trying, without being told. We know what to do with each other, how to make things better when things go wrong. I am you and you are me...

... When it's right, love isn't difficult. It's the easiest thing in the world. All the differences and hardships don't matter, and there's only one answer to every question." 

- Vince's Life The Wedding

This is exactly what I feel for you, my dear darling Mon. I don't know how I can say it more simply than that. Ever since I met you, you turned my world around. You taught me how to dream again. You taught me how to believe in myself. And I am so overwhelmed by the feeling because, well, nobody has ever believed in me as much before. But you have. And you are still believing in me everyday. I'm a better person because of you. 

It's true what Vince said. When it's right, love isn't difficult. I know that now. Happy 11th Wedding Monthsary, Honey nom-nom. Thanks for the Peppermint Mocha. :)

Oh hello there, you!

Yesterday, we went to The Baby Ultrasound Company (for the third time!) for Lex's 3D/4D ultrasound. The ultrasound was already re-scheduled twice because Lex simply won't cooperate the first two times. Either he's covering his face with his hand or foot (he's in a breech position as of the moment) or his umbilical cord is in the way. Suffice it to say that we are very insistent parents trying to catch a clearer glimpse of our son.

While bonding with Lex the night before, I told him repeatedly to please, please, be in the mood the next day because Mommy and Daddy really want to see him. I promised to give him a treat if he does. Hah! Bribery comes early.

Anyway, Mon and I are very happy with the results. Not only did Lex show his face, he was even caught smiling and yawning (tricks he got from his Daddy, I'm sure). ;p

Hello, everybody!! I'm Lex! I got my Daddy's eyes and my Mommy's chubby ching cheeks!

Are you done fussing over me now ? I'm sleepy...

I'm going to sleep now. Good night, Mom and Dad!!

After the ultrasound, we headed to Baby Company to give Lex his treat as promised. We got him this!

Newborn to Toddler Rocker by Fisher Price

Good job, Lex! :)

Baby Company, truly your one-stop shop for all your baby needs!

From the title of this blog post alone, you can tell that I am one very satisfied customer of Baby Company. Sadly, their sale month is coming to an end tomorrow. Aww. But I'm still happy because I was able to take advantage of the sale for 3 whole weekends! Hooray for all the savings!

Now before you think that we hoarded baby stuff during the sale, no, we did not. We really just bought items that we're sure no one would give us,

...like a crib! :)

This item was not on sale but we still got 10% off the original price
because we registered in their baby registry.

We opted for a Pack & Play instead of a wooden crib because of its size and portability. We originally wanted a wooden crib that grows with the baby, you know those ones that convert into a toddler bed, but its size just wouldn't do in our teeny tiny apartment! Whereas the Pack & Play already has a changing station and a musical crib mobile and a baby mattress. It's no brainer for us to get this one really. We picked a brown theme with blue and green patterns for our baby boy. Oh, and we got a free diaper bag because of this purchase!

...pillows! :)

We were quite surprised, we didn't know that beddings can cost so much! We got beddings with a safari-themed design. So cute! Especially the lion cub bit on the upper-left corner of the head pillow. As you can see in the picture, it has a white, yellow, and brown combination to match the brown crib we got Dotty.

...blankets and waterproof mattress pads! :)

We got extra receiving blankets because as I've learned, marami palang gamit ang receiving blanket!   Pwede siyang pansapin everywhere! Sa bed, sa stroller, sa carrier... everywhere! We also got light cotton blankets for sleeping.

...extra comforter and pillowcases! :)

The first time we saw this design, we were instantly smitten! Looks so grand diba? Sad that a pillowcase and comforter set was not available the first time we saw it at Baby Company. So I just got the pillowcases first and vowed to look for the matching comforter at a different branch. Success!!

We haven't bought Dotty any item of clothing yet since my sister gave me her children's newborn clothes, which I just sorted out a while ago. Twas fun looking at all the clothes, imagining my niece and nephew in it some 9 or 10 years ago. Yes, the clothes are THAT old! But still in very good condition. We'll probably just get cute onesies for Dotty para hindi naman lahat ng damit niya puro hand-me-downs. LOL!

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post.

Gender announcement

source

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye."

I hope our prince grows up to be as poetic and smart and true as the little prince.

source

Mon had thought all along that this baby was going to be a girl. But in the days leading to my ultrasound, I just had a strong feeling that it's going to be a boy. So imagine my surprise when the sonologist told me I am indeed having a boy! My instinct was right!

A TEMPURfect day!

A few weeks back, I was craving for Wicked Macaroni and Cheese from Mr. Jones. Fast forward to yesterday, Mon finally accepted my request to go to Makati on a weekend! Yiiiiiiihhh, kilig!!

You see, on weekends, we don't usually stray far from where we live. Nakakapagod. We figure that time spent driving can be used to rest or sleep instead. And weekends are very sacred to both of us. It's our time to relax and recharge for another full week ahead. If we must go out on a weekend due to a need or just plain boredom, we make it a point to go somewhere near lang.

Since it's a long weekend naman and we had enough rest last Friday, he agreed to go to Makati with me. Aside from Mr. Jones, we also had other errands to do there. 

Because we were both Greenbelt "virgins", we didn't know that the stores open there at 11am pala! The only store we saw that opened before 11am is The Body Shop, which is fortunate because I've been meaning to buy moisturising sticks for my pregnant tummy. I ran out and the moisturising stick I need was out-of-stock in all The Body Shops I've been to (SM Makati and Glorietta branches). So nagpaka-Ariel na ako and hoarded. These were the last three stocks they had.

Without anything to do after, nag-OOTD na lang!

At 17 weeks!
Top: Plains and Prints
Cardigan: Mango
Pants: Natale
Shoes: Grendha

We ate lunch at Mr. Jones. What we ate:

From top left clockwise: Frozen Iced Tea & Lemonade in Grape, 

Wicked Macaroni and Cheese, 

A&W Rootbeer Float, Mr. Jones Overload with Glazed Pineapple Spam

I loved the Frozen Iced Tea & Lemonade, all else, steady lang. I mean, under normal circumstances, I would have really loved the Mac & Cheese... Favorite ko kaya yun sobra before! And I still recommend it to anyone who asks but I think my pregnant taste buds did not take a liking to it as much as my normal taste buds did. But still, it was worth the wait.

After lunch, we went to the Tempur Showroom to buy a pillow. Ohmygosh, pillow-buying has never been this enjoyable! It was a different experience altogether. Tempur has different kinds of specialized pillows, depending on how you sleep: back, side, or tummy. I'm a back and side-sleeper so we tried out pillows that are perfect for back and side-sleeping. That would be the Symphony and the Sonata. We also tried out another pillow, the Cloud, just because ang sarap niyang hawakan. Ang lambot kasi! Hehe.

After choosing our desired pillow/s, we were ushered into a private room where we can try it out. The room has a bed (with a Tempur mattress and topper) with two side lamps and a table to place our things on. Bedroom setting talaga.

The actual pillow test.

Upper Frames: Symphony
Lower Left: Cloud
Lower Right: Sonata

What I loved about the whole experience, aside from the pillow test, was the service. No unnecessary sales talk, only helpful information. They had recommendations but not once did I feel that they were insistent. And they literally left us alone in the private room, no matter how long it took for us to decide. We were in there mga 45 minutes siguro? That's including the time we spent listening to the audio presentation na but still, the presentation was not long to begin with.

In the end, I finally decided on the Symphony pillow as this one is perfect for back and side sleeping alike. Double purpose na siya. Sonata kasi is good for side-sleeping lang. I mean, obviously, wala namang kaso yun if you use Sonata while lying on your back diba, coz alangan namang magpalit ka pa ng unan habang natutulog. Yung level of comfort lang siguro that you'll get would be different. But if I were to buy my next Tempur pillow, I'd definitely get Sonata.

Thanks for another early Christmas gift, Honey!! :)

I really love buying for the home! I get a kick thinking of the time when Mon and I will finally move to our own place. I bet we'll have so much fun shopping and decorating! Well, I'll have fun for sure. I think Mon would leave me in-charge as long as I furnish our living room with state-of-the-art surround speakers. That's all he asks.