Being the best

I slept very late some nights ago. As it often is these days, my mind is preoccupied with the idea of success and failure (i.e. what it means to be either one of it). But something about what I had read earlier that night on my Facebook feed led me to realize one thing and that is people often think about success and failure but easily overlooks what's in between: mediocrity. But more on that later.

The next night, my husband imposed one new house rule: that we stop using our gadgets from 11PM-6AM everyday. He stressed the importance of having enough time to sleep but I knew he had in mind the fact that I was so weak the next day, I had to depend on a caramel macchiato to keep myself awake enough to attend a playdate.

At face value, that rule is very easy to follow. Drop whatever I was doing (which is really just checking on my social media accounts), sleep, and continue on the next day. But you and I know that it's not that simple. And as I reflected on my reluctance, I realized that the reason I was so hesitant to follow the rule was because my heart was not in it.

Then I remembered what I heard in church last Sunday about discipleship. The pastor said that the concept of following Jesus is really very simple. What makes it hard is because it is not easy to do. How many of you know that people, at the sight of any inconvenience, go and run for the hills faster than one can say RUN?

Applying that to my situation, the real deal is that I didn't want to give up my unligadget time at night.

And then I was reminded that when I married my husband, I vowed to submit to him all of me. I married him because I decided that he is the perfect man to lead me and my children in this life. I told myself that I will willfully and happily submit to his leadership. I may be inconvenienced by his rules, but I will follow him. That vow stands strong then, now, and forever.

Just as God is our Father, Ruler, and Lord of our lives, we should submit to His perfect will without any hesitations. We may not understand the purpose of all His rules, but we can be assured that it will only do us good if we follow it wholeheartedly until the very end, with no delays and no distractions.

He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. 

- Jim Elliot

Translation: A person is not a fool to give up all the reckless ways of the world to gain eternal life by being good and following God.

If you're wondering what happened next, I did agree with my husband's imposition proposition to limit our gadget use. Not only because I have to (for the reasons I stated above), but also (and more of) because I decided to put my heart in order and set my priorities straight.

In the last few weeks, along with my thoughts on success and failure, I've also been concerned about how I do things and how for the longest time I feel like I'm living a life of mediocrity. And I decided that I am so tired of that. I am tired of being just in between. So from now on I'm going to be the best. I'm going to be a success.

But what does it take to be a success?

Being a success, in my opinion, means doing your very best, and not being successful as how the world perceives success, in each and every aspect of your life, whether it be at work, your finances, your relationship with God, your health, your relationships with other people.

So whether it's honoring one's husband's rules or deciding to really follow Jesus in your life or even the simplest thing like finishing a long overdue blog entry, let's be a success. Let's be the best that we can be in each role that we play. Let's be a success is each area of our lives. It's time to stop mediocrity and make the most out of this one life we're given.

Disclaimer: While I may be mediocre in some areas, I am at least proud to say that I've never been a mediocre wife or a mediocre mom. I've always given my family the best of what I can give; time, attention, love, and even material things. My husband says I am the best on where it matters most. And because he thinks that, I would like to think that I didn't do so bad.

On failure and getting back up

Browsing through my timeline on a social media site today, I saw a video that piqued my interest. Now before I continue on with my story, you should know that I seldom watch videos shared in my timeline. The only ones I watch are those which I am tagged in, and most often are related to a TV series I am gaga about. But for some reason, my finger found its way to the play button and I'm so thankful it did because what I took from the video is nothing short of inspiring.

You might never fail on the scale I did but failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something. unless you lived so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all. In which case, you failed by default. 

- J.K. Rowling

Each one of us have experienced failure. While some of it may be small, in which case, only a small amount of "dusting" is needed, other failures may be on a larger scale, those that can be potentially life-changing.

I am not a stranger to failure myself. Growing up, I've had more than my fair share of failures too. So much that my fingers are not enough to count 'em all! What are your failures? One of mine is having to take the board exams thrice. And if you're wondering if I passed the third time, yes, I did. :)

That failure haunted me for years! There were times when I even dreamt that I had to take the exams again even if I had already passed. Talk about trauma!

I was talking to Mon about it recently, that the board exams season of my life is one of the most traumatic, if not the most traumatic thing that ever happened in my life and in our conversation, we started to process my fear and the trauma of the incident. In the end I realized that it is not the exam itself that had caused the paralyzing fear but how I and the people closest to me had reacted to it. You see, when I failed the first two tests, I considered myself a failure. What was even more depressing is that the people around me also did. And that fact has left me feeling all the more ashamed of myself. Sure, I got sympathy here and there but I know deep down that I am expected to prove something.

It's a good thing I knew someone who loves me unconditionally. Who welcomes me in his arms without the need for me to prove anything and that is the Lord. With Him as my foundation and my father's money (haha. I was so poor that I can't even afford to send myself to review school that time), I bravely took the test for the third time and emerged victorious.

But I was telling Mon that for the longest time after I had passed the exams,  my mindset was: had the people around me reacted differently, the effect on me wouldn't have been so bad. He countered that by telling me to stop using other people as an excuse for the crap I have in my life. It's time to take charge and be responsible for my own actions and choices. Besides, what he saw when I had told him about the whole incident is not really my failure to pass but how I was able to recover, without other people rallying me for support no less. He was also able to point out that that incident had paved the way for me to know myself better, what I am capable of, and how I handle my emotions despite the pressure coming from those people around me.

Our conversation ended with me looking at the incident in a different light. I do not see myself anymore as a glaring failure of a person. Instead, I see a victorious individual who, in her most dejected moment, made the right decision to trust in the Lord, dust her knees, and give it all she has to punch life right back. "Without the bitter, the sweet ain't as sweet." -- now that is a quote that has never been more apt.

photo source

That verse is my greatest take away from the whole conversation. With Jesus, I can do anything I set my mind to. And guess what? So can you!

P.S.: This isn't anymore related to the topic but can I just say, girls, marry someone who can change the way you think about yourself, who can turn even the most depressing thing about you to your favor. And I tell you, you will not regret it. ;)

Helpful advice, anyone?

I came across this article in an email sent by Public Affairs: Why You Should Be Making A Life Instead Of Making A Living. I have been in a crossroad for many months now and only having made a final decision several days ago, I would say that the impact of this article, the relatability of its advices to my life at this moment, is HUGE! It's funny that I came across this article now, of all times! I believe that it is God's way of affirming me of my decision, that it is His will for my life. And so I would like to share this with you. I know many of you are also in your own crossroads. I hope this impacts you as much as it had made an impact on me.

Why You Should Be Making A Life Instead Of Making A Living

by Kathryn Sandford

“If you think your life is about DOINGNESS, you do not understand what you are about. Your soul doesn’t care what you do for a living and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you’re BEING while you’re doing whatever you’re doing. It is a state of BEINGNESS the soul is after, not a state of doingness.” 

― Neale Donald Walsch 

I have never been great at making a living and for a longtime I struggled trying to figure out why I wasn’t that great at it. I would compare myself to my friends and peers who through the years have consistently turned up to work, had great careers and made a really good living . It is only recently that I have discovered that I was truly happy when I was living my life doing what I wanted to do – writing, speaking and coaching. . For years I was choosing to make a living doing what I “could do” but not what I ‘wanted to do”. Now in hindsight, if I knew 25 years ago what I know now, I could have had both a lot sooner – living a life and making living doing what I loved. 

The Purpose of Work 

“In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: They must be fit for it. They must not do too much of it. And they must have a sense of success in it”  

― John Ruskin 

Work is essential as it brings us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction to our lives. Work puts our creative energies to use, it stimulates us and can bring us huge successes BUT when it takes over our lives to a point where we no longer find the satisfaction in what we do or we become slaves to our jobs – then that is when WORK infiltrates our lives in a negative way. We find ourselves in a place where we are “existing rather than living’ and we are choosing to live a life of mediocrity rather than a life filled with happiness, joy and success.

Work is not our enemy, it only becomes the enemy when we allow work to take over our lives and our sense of self. When we asked are the question “who are you?” and we reply ” I am an accountant, lawyer, policeman, CEO…”, it is a sign that our self worth and our identity is based on the economic value of the job we do!


So why is it important that you should be making a life instead of making a living?

“When you’re following your energy and doing what you want all the time, the distinction between work and play dissolves”  

― Shakti Gawain 

Today modern society’s definition of success is based on the concepts of money, fame and power. I think many of us become trapped in the mindset of focusing on making a living for survival and working really hard to make lots of money so that we are seen to be successful. The words happiness, fulfillment, passion and joy do not appear to be associated with the concept of making a living – this is why it is important that you should be focusing on making a life where your definition of success is built on the foundation of words such as happiness, joy, love, passion and fulfillment. If you are doing what you want to do, then work is a JOY and if you are doing what you don't want to do than work is a CHORE.


There is Hope if you use the Power of Choice

“The person who does not know how to live while they are making a living is a poorer person after their wealth is won when they started” 

― Josiah Gilbert Holland

Do not give up hope as there are things you can do that will enable you to live your life earning a living doing what you love to do. You have the power of choice. and all you have to do is to make the choice that you want to change from living a life where you are just existing making a living to living a life where you are happy, fulfilled and doing what you love.

“Making money isn’t hard in itself…What is hard is to earn it doing something worth devoting one’s life to”  

― Carols Ruitz Zafon 

A word of caution, to take on this challenge to find what makes you happy and how you can make a life doing what you love, is HARD WORK. It is hard to step out and be courageous. It is hard not to worry about what others think. It is hard to follow your dreams, to define your life purpose and to figure out what makes you happy. Making a living is much easier to do. It is so much easier to exist rather than live a full life, to procrastinate, to make excuses, and to accept that your life is what it is. 

So if you do chose to Make a Life you love, here are 10 important steps to help you get started. 

1. Accept that this journey is going to be hard and that there is no better time than right now to take action and COMMIT

2. Once you have done this, start to explore ways to define your Life Purpose – what are you passionate about and what makes you happy? When you have clarity about your purpose and your passions, then put a PLAN in place outlining the steps you need to take to get you to where you want to be in your life. Defining your life purpose in some ways is easy – defining the pathway to fulfilling your life purpose is the hard part and will require courage, focus and commitment. Remember that the reward for you, will be a life filled with happiness and success.

3. Figure out how you will deal with your fears, your insecurities, your excuses or any blocks that you will use to stop you or distract you from going on this journey. Get to know them and be ready when they take action because if you are not focused, do not have self belief or you are not really committed to the journey then you will give up.

4. Do not worry about others and what they are doing or achieving. Stop comparing yourself to others and start working on you and your belief in YOU.

5. Be prepared to work hard and focus on delivering results. Set achievable goals, sort out your finances, get support and just start doing what you need to do – happiness will follow.

6. Become Resilient – you need to learn how to bounce back and step up. Life will throw you some curve balls, you will make mistakes and you will feel at times very sorry for yourself. You need to overcome the low points toughen up and bounce back. It is just the way it is.

7. Find your Courage – you will need it when you step out of your comfort zone

8. Practice Gratitude daily, be generous and help others – this is one of the easiest things to do on this journey so do lots if it. The more grateful you are, the more generous you are and the more you help people, the happier you will be.

9. Enjoy the journey – live in the moment, make time to have fun and celebrate often. You will find that the more you do this the happier you will be and the closer you will be to making a living doing what you love

10. Be Realistic about your ideal life – you may not have it all but you can have enough to be very happy. Focus on the top 3-4 priorities in your life that will bring your happiness and joy.

Despite the hard work required to find happiness and success in your life, it is so worth it. The 10 action steps if you choose to follow them will create the opportunity for you to make a great life.

Life is too short to spend time making a living where you just exist. Life is more than just living with mediocrity. You deserve more and you are entitled to live a life of joy and happiness. It is not too late to live your ideal life. I know that you need to factor in the economics of earning money – it is important to have in our lives. However, you can make a living while making a life, people all over the world are doing it – So why cant you be one of these people?

“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply,with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world and you impoverish yourself if you forget that errand” 

― Woodrow Wilson

To view the original article or to read other related articles, log on to http://www.lifehack.org/articles/

The Source

You know those days when you just feel detached to The Source? Yes. I believe we have all felt that way at some point in our lives.

But how about the total opposite?

Right now, as in in the past few days, I have been feeling very attached to The Source. It feels like everywhere I go, everywhere I look, even in the most unexpected time and place, He's there. He's speaking to me through other people. He's speaking to me through meetings I attend to at the office, He's speaking to me on Instagram, He's speaking to me through blogs, He's speaking to me through songs... as in He's like, literally everywhere!! It's scary. And He's giving me all these signs and encouragement and inpiration. I have never experienced this before. I have never experienced Him talking to me this way. Ever so clearly. So clear in fact that it's very hard to miss it. Parang stupid na pag hindi ko pa na-gets.

Lord, I thank You for this revelation. I thank you for giving me this opportunity and for allowing me to take it. Thank you because I have never felt so loved so clearly by You than right now. Thank you for strengthening my heart to say YES to You, Jesus.

You said, "I am the vine; You are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing." -- John 15:5

Jesus, thank you for this. Thank you for this revelation. Thank you because after all these years, I finally get it.